I stopped by target on the way to get my oil changed. I bought some spirals for notes and writing, a great book , tweezers, and a battery charger for my digital camera (hence the great pics.)
All the lines had about 2 people, so i chose to get behind the person with the most stuff. (I like to catch up on my US Weekly, InTouch, and Life & Style.) There I was, quietly reading about caleb life, when a woman behind me began to COMPLAIN.
And I quote: "Scuse me! You need to open a ten items or less lane! You really should open a ten items or less lane! There are a lot of people with ten items or less!"
That was NOT annoying. That was entertaining. What WAS annoying was how she felt the need to share her anger with me. Blah blah this and that...Don't you think this is unreasonable...don't you think we have somewhere to be.
I'm sorry Brangelina....I'm sorry Newlyweds....our time together will have to wait. Mad lady needs me to join her in her misery. Why did I make eye contact!?
These next two items were then purchased.
I will call this picture...
Ode to 10-Items-Or-Less-Lady.
I get to the dealer and make myself comfortable in front of the tv. Yay, Oprah! And it's MAKEOVER MADNESS! Life could not be better. And then it happens.
I look up for one rotten second and have invited a seat next to mine. Our friendly dealer, with co-worker-driven over-confidence, decides to take a seat for a few and make small talk.
NO! NO, NO, NO!
Can YOU name one black talk show host that's not Oprah? "Yep.."
I normally would have warmed the following awkward silence with something funny or sweet, but this was a makeover show. More silence...annnddddd....he's gone.
That night, when we went to Bewitched, there was a lady at the beginning of the line buying tickets. All of the sudden she begins to YELL across the entryway for her 3 year old son.
"CARSON!!!!!!! CARSON!!!!!! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!! CARSON!!! OK...BYE...I'M LEAVING NOW!!? MOMMY'S LEAVING!!!"
Everyone stared. We were ALL uncomfrotable. We went to buy concessions and he was in the lobby screaming at the top of his lungs because of the echo. Mom bought concessions, resting in peace that her son was 10 feet away. Do you not know i'm about to smother him!?
After the movie lets out we were all making jokes about Carson..wasn't that funny...wasn't that funny. When we hear a little boy screaming at the top of his lungs. Yes, after the 2 hour movie...carson was STILL out of control and making our skin crawl.
People are funny.