Thanks for all the missing person reports! I love you, too. I took a little blog-vacation and didn't realize that I'd NEVER.UPDATE.AGAIN.EVER!? I really do appreciate the love!! :)
And now I will get to my post:
G-E-T O-V-E-R I-T?!
Apperantly my last blog about Buttcrack Betty caused quite an upset.
For those of you that don't know, I posted this picture of a random girl at my school:
She is anonymous.
I am anonymous.
None of my blog-readers (excluding friends and family) know where I go to school.
There is virtually no way that this girl could identify her butt.
People are seriously pissed, ya'll!! They're creating an ANTI HG website or something!? They think it was mean and are losing sleep over my cold-blooded intentions!! They're telling everyone about my cleaverly disguised malevolent nature and are ensuring that people judge my character!! (Behind my back, of course!)
"HG took a picture of someone's BUTT! And POSTED it WITHOUT HER PERMISSION!! What a heartless cow."
I think I'm nice. They think i'm evil. I'll let you be the judge.
I smell a reality show!!
Here was my literal thought process before writing this blog:
"That is seriously hysterical and kind of gross that I just saw her entire butt and now she's sitting in her too small pants and the chair back is framing her say-no-to-crack!!
What should I do? Who should I make laugh with me?? DUDE, camera phone!! I'll blog it!"
Believe me when I say that NO ONE I go to school with reads my blog and knows who I am. IF there was even a slight chance of buttcrack-owner stumbling accross buttcrack-picture and recognizing said buttcrack....I wouldn't have posted. DUH.
It bothers me that my character is being questioned because of a harmless, and, allow me to repeat, ANONYMOUS picture.
I am even more sad that people validate the pictures in US Weekly...and not this one.
I'm seriously sorry If I offended anyone, but my intentions were light hearted.
Now, without further ado.... I give you:
Pictures found in GOSSIP MAGS accross the country that actually HAVE cruel intentions, are NOT nameless, and are NOT considered malicious. :)
((CUE THE TRUMPETS...DRAW THE CURTAINS!!))
Doesn't it just make you HAPPY to know that Brit Spears has cellulite like the rest of us!! God bless the nice man that stalked her and most likely trespassed to get this photo!!! Let me chip away at his rent by purchasing this $4 magazine!
Geez Paris...put some clothes on! Serves you right for wearing a shirt so short because YOU'RE famous! The girl in HG's picture that CHOSE to wear WAY TOO TIGHT pants, however, was assaulted!
Aww...is that Mary Kate's butt crack? I wonder what kind of underwear she's wearing? Cute boots. I have no malicious thoughts about the person posting this pic.