March 23, 2006

And the award for laziest, nasty human ever goes to!

The human that needs this sign to behave properly in a public restroom.

March 21, 2006

Dear Girl Who Eats Chick fil'a at 1050 am,

The smell of your stuffy, stale french fries, your greazzzy popcorn-chicken, and the sweet, suphocating smell of your room-temperature honeymustard are causing my stomach to contract and I am sorry if I puke on your shoes.

The End.

So, to continue where I left off...

I am not at school and CANNOT stay awake.

Can't sleep.

Because I'm tired.

The same reason I eat when I'm not hungry. And that would be the same reason I talk when I have nothing to say. And speed when I'm not rushed and make mistakes when it's slow.


So I had this dream that my bestfriend robbed a bank. And I was hired to take down her operation. And I had to save all these peole that were with me because my bestfriend/convict was armed and dangerous. I finally confonted her in the bathroom of a german train station where she gave me what I came for: my car keys!! Because, DUH, that's why i was really hunting her down with a bus-load of scared old folks!

Now, still dreaming, i'm consoling monica about her time in the slammer, when i realize I'm late for WORK. Yes. WORK! I'm at work ON MY DAY OFF IN MY SLEEP!?

SO now i'm driving my mom's car to SPokane because she left it at my house when she visited (who knows what happened to work). Everything's fine and great until I have to go to the DMV cause I can't find my license. I walk up to the counter where some old guy writes a capital "I" on each hand and holds them up. I thought it was a make shift eye exam test so I said "uhh..I, I?" Well, turns out I was responsible for knowing some airplane signals!? WHatever that is... And then I woke up.

But seriously, why can't I sleep!?!?!?!

March 16, 2006

What do you do?

What do you do when all the cleaning is done and there's nothing to do?

Put people clothes on your dog, of course!

Cause room really is crazy clean:

March 14, 2006

Spring cleaning....

No, Seriously.

Under The Bed:

All of what you see was on or under my bed.

Yeah, those clothes on that chair are pretty much always there. SO, other then that...and the stuff on my desk....everything was on or under my bed.

Mission 1 COMPLETE:

Stay tuned for tomorrow's mission...

THE DESK (AKA...the reason i do homework on my bed):

March 10, 2006

March 07, 2006

How do you spell... GET OVER IT?!

Thanks for all the missing person reports! I love you, too. I took a little blog-vacation and didn't realize that I'd NEVER.UPDATE.AGAIN.EVER!? I really do appreciate the love!! :)

And now I will get to my post:

G-E-T O-V-E-R I-T?!

Apperantly my last blog about Buttcrack Betty caused quite an upset.

For those of you that don't know, I posted this picture of a random girl at my school:

She is anonymous.

I am anonymous.

None of my blog-readers (excluding friends and family) know where I go to school.

There is virtually no way that this girl could identify her butt.


People are seriously pissed, ya'll!! They're creating an ANTI HG website or something!? They think it was mean and are losing sleep over my cold-blooded intentions!! They're telling everyone about my cleaverly disguised malevolent nature and are ensuring that people judge my character!! (Behind my back, of course!)
"HG took a picture of someone's BUTT! And POSTED it WITHOUT HER PERMISSION!! What a heartless cow."

I think I'm nice. They think i'm evil. I'll let you be the judge.

I smell a reality show!!

Here was my literal thought process before writing this blog:

"That is seriously hysterical and kind of gross that I just saw her entire butt and now she's sitting in her too small pants and the chair back is framing her say-no-to-crack!!

What should I do? Who should I make laugh with me?? DUDE, camera phone!! I'll blog it!"

Believe me when I say that NO ONE I go to school with reads my blog and knows who I am. IF there was even a slight chance of buttcrack-owner stumbling accross buttcrack-picture and recognizing said buttcrack....I wouldn't have posted. DUH.

It bothers me that my character is being questioned because of a harmless, and, allow me to repeat, ANONYMOUS picture.

I am even more sad that people validate the pictures in US Weekly...and not this one.

I'm seriously sorry If I offended anyone, but my intentions were light hearted.

Now, without further ado.... I give you:

Pictures found in GOSSIP MAGS accross the country that actually HAVE cruel intentions, are NOT nameless, and are NOT considered malicious. :)


Doesn't it just make you HAPPY to know that Brit Spears has cellulite like the rest of us!! God bless the nice man that stalked her and most likely trespassed to get this photo!!! Let me chip away at his rent by purchasing this $4 magazine!

Geez Paris...put some clothes on! Serves you right for wearing a shirt so short because YOU'RE famous! The girl in HG's picture that CHOSE to wear WAY TOO TIGHT pants, however, was assaulted! that Mary Kate's butt crack? I wonder what kind of underwear she's wearing? Cute boots. I have no malicious thoughts about the person posting this pic.