November 29, 2005
IT WAS HORRIBLE. AND GROSS. AND FULL OF-- for lack of better words-- INTERESTING FOLKS. :)
Here's how it went:
I arrived at the airport with about 3 hours to spare before catching a bus to the Atlanta Depot. I went to the Greyhound Bus TRAILER (uh, yes, I said trailer)to have my will-call ticket printed up.
CREEK((the door opens))
Blank stare from Greyhound employee. Am trying not to make completely disgusted face. The room is foul and humid with Miss Employee of the year's hangover breath.
HG: Uhh...Hi...I'm supposed to catch a bus at noon."
Her: Wide eyes...annoyed...waiting for me to finish.
HG: um...where am i going to be doing that?
Her: Rat back thurr...B'hind this heah' traila' But it ain't fa' three hou-ahs.
I am clearly the biggest idiot she's seen all day. And her two little friends agree. It is freezing outside and i guess I best be findin' me somewhere ELSE to keep warm. I am NOT welcome in the trailer to wait.
I felt so unwelcomed and ready to get the hell out of there, that i forgot to print my tickets.
2.5 hours later I head back to hangover heaven for my ticket. The bus will arrive behind this heah' trailah in 30 minutes and I don't want to miss it.
I am greeted at the LOCKED door by a hand written sign that says "BE BACK 12:30." My bus LEAVES at 12:30. She has neglected to shut the blinds and I see her sitting in a chair...legs on the desk...phone crooked on her shoulder...and food shoveling into her mouth. She sees me and makes NO motion to put her LUNCH BREAK on hold. LUnch break!?? Lunch break!? What has she done that she needs a lunch break?
I tell the bus driver my predicament when he arrives and i have no printed ticket:
BusDRIVER: "Damn lazy asses! I don't have tahm fah this crap. You gawn and tell the station whatcha told me."
I get on the bus without a ticket.
There is a young girl...I guess about 18...with a newborn baby. When we get off the bus I offer to help her carry some stuff.
She accepts my help and gets off the bus and puts her baby...very haphazardly...into the carrier and walks COMPLETELY away to get her luggage. UHH ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I take this opportunity to wrap the baby in warm blankets and adjust her comfortably in the carrier. And I'm talking NEW-BORN people! And she LEFT her..UNATTENDED...with a stranger!
Ok, now are you ready for the DEPOT? I said, "ARE YOU READY FOR THE DEPOT?!" That's better.
I had NO idea what I was about to encounter. Imagine, if you will, a can of sardines. But replace the can with a SMALL bus depot..and the sardines with HUMANS.
It is NOT an exaggeration when i say WALL TO WALL PEOPLE.
On top of being PACKED, there was NOTHING posted about where we were supposed to be. You couldn't move..let alone with your luggage. IT was survival of the fittest and I, apperantly, was the person to ask for help. I had about 7 people come up to me and ask how to read their tickets and where to go. The only way to find out was to get in this HUGE line and ask one of the TWO employees. I almost asked one of them to print me off an info sheet so I could direct some of the traffic.
Now...for the tour of this luxurious facility.
First stop, the restrooms:
BHECH!! is it REALLY that hard to wipe that off?!
And what about this!?:
It's just a shame I can't post the smell.
Now on to the gift shop! What joy.
Come one! Come all! Get 'em while they're hot! From Friendship, plastic, hang thingys, to cheaply made figurines, we've got'em all! And check out those unbeatable prices! I bet they pale in comparison to the quality!!
Attention gentlemen! Don't let lack of planning stop you from telling the woman you love that you want to spend the rest of your life with her! We've got engagement rings from 4.99 and up! Atlanta has a way of bringin' out the romance. What about a bracelet. The gift that keeps on giving....with our brilliant green residue, she'll never forget that you got her that gift! Even when she takes it off. And yeah, real gold does that!?
Get ya' snow globes heah! Get ya' cigarettes heah!! Don't foget'cha quality greyhound toy bus fah tha kiddies! We've got shot glasses! We've got mugs! And Ladies, NOthin' says i love you like a commemerative eagle clock!
November 27, 2005
November 21, 2005
I left the bar.
I found THIS right outside my car door!!!!!
Spotlight courtesy of the cop that was parked right next to me. ...Seriously.
HG: "Sir, would you mind shining your light on it so I can take a picture?"
COP: "Sure...do you want it on the puke, or the bra?"
HG: "Right above both would be great!"
COP: "There you go....Have a good night!"
HG: "You too, sir, thanks."
November 19, 2005
November 15, 2005
(PS I'm not wearing mascera or blush!! SO THERE!)
I feel that the length may be getting a bit out of hand. You be le judge.
Front complete with fake smile and horrible, self timing, photo position...
Back with a pony tail- couldn't reach my arm far enough. You should've seen some of the other shots i got....
Right now it's all one length...I'm thinking maybe layers? Or a little shorter.....What d'ya think?
Powered by Castpost
I love James Taylor...but that's not what I'm talking about. In exactly one week I will be heading to North Carolina! To see Mr. Wonderful!!
To all of my blog-friends- I know him...I was friends with him before....and I am not going to meet someone I JUST met on the internet! Also, yes, my dad does know about this. :)
Sooo...News about me? HOMEWORK. I have 4 things that i have to do for tomorrow and 10 things that i need to do for next week. I don't understand why ANYONE has class next week! It's Thanksgiving!?!?
With that...I will retreat to my cave where I will be doing homework and wishing I was somewhere else.
November 10, 2005
Purse contents scatters....
Fall to knees under heavy contents of stupid backpack....
Can't pull myself up! lol
Two guys (horrifyingly..is that a word!?) assist me with standing...while some other poor guy shuffles the contents of my purse back together.
In my defense:
My backpack weighs 27lbs! AND THIS IS A SKINNY SCALE that weighs LESS then the dr's WRONG scale. :)
Tis the reason for my fall and my yummy back spasms I presume.
November 08, 2005
(Please keep in mind that I will do my best to recreate this verbatim.)
I got to class today and brought another bag of chips and a sandwich.
I opened my bag of chips.
Reached in for the first one.
Aimed the chip towards my mou-----
"CAN I HAVE ONE, DO YOU MIND?"
I HADN'T EVEN HAD ONE!! Deep breath.
"May I please have another??? :) " Practically begging.
I kid you NOT!
"((whines like dog...gives huge grin)) PLEASE...Just one more!"
THAT'S IT! Keep in mind this was a very nice sarcastic tone but who flipping WHINES LIKE A DOG!? WHO DOES THAT!?!? So now, HG gets some balls:
"Uhh...you need to start bringing food for me! Cause every time I see you you're eating my lunch."
She freaking looks at me like I just flipped out for no reason.
"I can bring you food, that's no problem."
NO! You're right!!! That's NOT the problem...because I don't want YOUR food...I want MY food!!!! To which I say:
"They're only like 75 cents in the vending machine. Why don't you get some sometime?"
Her..."I can buy you a bag next time."
"No, I guess I should buy an extra one for you. haha"
I end up getting pretty full and am starting to feel bad (FOR SOME WEIRD REASON.) So I offer her the rest of the chips:
"Here, I'm really done with them. Do you want the rest?"
"Are you sure!?" (Like...I saw how you just freaked out and I don't want you FREAKING out again. )
Can you believe this!? Well, it gets better!!
I give her the chips.
She licks the bag clean and giggles and points to the back nutritional information label.
"Hee hee... Look at this!" SHe has just pointed out to me that each bag contains 1.75 servings.
WTH!? Ok, what exactly was her motive?! That I'm freaking, freaking out over nothing cause there's clearly almost 2 servings!? OR Omg, this little amount is 2 servings!?
SHE'S SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!! IT'S KILLING ME!
Now...For what happens next, you may need to brace yourselves.
She laughs off the "joke" about serving size and SHAMELESSY ME GIVES ME THE TRASH!! THE EMPTY BAG!! That she CLEARLY felt "belonged" to me!!...so I could deal with it!!! WHY WOULD I WANT THE EMPTY BAG BACK!?
Uh uhhh, honey!! Those are YOUR chips now!!!
The girl next to me FINALLY intervened. I think she saw this whole thing go down and was a bit surprised at how uncouth my little friend actually was (is uncouth too strong?).
My new friend in the class said:
"Oh here, I'll throw that away for you!" (like, why the heck would she want with the empty bag that you just finished!)
THANK YOU FRIEND!
I wonder what Wednesday will bring.
PS In response to your comments... I've tried passive aggressive and she clearly didn't get it! Or...maybe she's winning here and gets it just fine!?
I'M TOO NICE!
November 04, 2005
YOU WILL FEEL LIKE PUKING.
"wow..this run is extremely difficult....did I swallow an anvil?...or a bowling ball?.....or a lead plate? huh."
Yeah...that's pretty much what it felt like.
November 03, 2005
And it is official...Our puppy is an old lady. She can't even keep up with me when I'm jogging....when I run, she pants after me like a little two year old ready for a nap.