Soooo...I decided that riding a bus from Atlanta to South Carolina would beat the heck out of paying $600 to fly directly into S.C. I also decided that the bus depot wouldn't be that bad. I was right about beating the 600...but WRONG, DEAD WRONG about the bus depot.
IT WAS HORRIBLE. AND GROSS. AND FULL OF-- for lack of better words-- INTERESTING FOLKS. :)
Here's how it went:
I arrived at the airport with about 3 hours to spare before catching a bus to the Atlanta Depot. I went to the Greyhound Bus TRAILER (uh, yes, I said trailer)to have my will-call ticket printed up.
CREEK((the door opens))
Blank stare from Greyhound employee. Am trying not to make completely disgusted face. The room is foul and humid with Miss Employee of the year's hangover breath.
HG: Uhh...Hi...I'm supposed to catch a bus at noon."
Her: Wide eyes...annoyed...waiting for me to finish.
HG: um...where am i going to be doing that?
Her: Rat back thurr...B'hind this heah' traila' But it ain't fa' three hou-ahs.
I am clearly the biggest idiot she's seen all day. And her two little friends agree. It is freezing outside and i guess I best be findin' me somewhere ELSE to keep warm. I am NOT welcome in the trailer to wait.
I felt so unwelcomed and ready to get the hell out of there, that i forgot to print my tickets.
2.5 hours later I head back to hangover heaven for my ticket. The bus will arrive behind this heah' trailah in 30 minutes and I don't want to miss it.
I am greeted at the LOCKED door by a hand written sign that says "BE BACK 12:30." My bus LEAVES at 12:30. She has neglected to shut the blinds and I see her sitting in a chair...legs on the desk...phone crooked on her shoulder...and food shoveling into her mouth. She sees me and makes NO motion to put her LUNCH BREAK on hold. LUnch break!?? Lunch break!? What has she done that she needs a lunch break?
I tell the bus driver my predicament when he arrives and i have no printed ticket:
BusDRIVER: "Damn lazy asses! I don't have tahm fah this crap. You gawn and tell the station whatcha told me."
I get on the bus without a ticket.
There is a young girl...I guess about 18...with a newborn baby. When we get off the bus I offer to help her carry some stuff.
She accepts my help and gets off the bus and puts her baby...very haphazardly...into the carrier and walks COMPLETELY away to get her luggage. UHH ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I take this opportunity to wrap the baby in warm blankets and adjust her comfortably in the carrier. And I'm talking NEW-BORN people! And she LEFT her..UNATTENDED...with a stranger!
Ok, now are you ready for the DEPOT? I said, "ARE YOU READY FOR THE DEPOT?!" That's better.
I had NO idea what I was about to encounter. Imagine, if you will, a can of sardines. But replace the can with a SMALL bus depot..and the sardines with HUMANS.
It is NOT an exaggeration when i say WALL TO WALL PEOPLE.
On top of being PACKED, there was NOTHING posted about where we were supposed to be. You couldn't move..let alone with your luggage. IT was survival of the fittest and I, apperantly, was the person to ask for help. I had about 7 people come up to me and ask how to read their tickets and where to go. The only way to find out was to get in this HUGE line and ask one of the TWO employees. I almost asked one of them to print me off an info sheet so I could direct some of the traffic.
Now...for the tour of this luxurious facility.
First stop, the restrooms:
BHECH!! is it REALLY that hard to wipe that off?!
And what about this!?:
It's just a shame I can't post the smell.
Now on to the gift shop! What joy.
Come one! Come all! Get 'em while they're hot! From Friendship, plastic, hang thingys, to cheaply made figurines, we've got'em all! And check out those unbeatable prices! I bet they pale in comparison to the quality!!
Attention gentlemen! Don't let lack of planning stop you from telling the woman you love that you want to spend the rest of your life with her! We've got engagement rings from 4.99 and up! Atlanta has a way of bringin' out the romance. What about a bracelet. The gift that keeps on giving....with our brilliant green residue, she'll never forget that you got her that gift! Even when she takes it off. And yeah, real gold does that!?
Get ya' snow globes heah! Get ya' cigarettes heah!! Don't foget'cha quality greyhound toy bus fah tha kiddies! We've got shot glasses! We've got mugs! And Ladies, NOthin' says i love you like a commemerative eagle clock!