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October 26, 2005

OK, i think she thinks I'll feed her.

I was at the library about 2 weeks ago and was approached by a girl from my PoliSci class. Long story short, she talked my ear off!! Well, her real motive for being my friend has just reared it's ugly, starving head and I am not happy about it.

~~LIBRARY NIGHT~~~~~~~~~~~~

HER: Aren't you in my class?

ME: Yeah, hey.

HER: Do you mind if I join you?

ME: Yes I mind because I am sitting here enjoying my Ritz crackers and am working hard on this paper that should be done right now!? Sure.

I offer some crackers to my new friend and she proceeds to HELP HERSELF in every possible sense imaginable. We're talkin' half a sleeve of my Ritz, people.

The truth be told, I felt kind of bad for her. I had all this great study food and she didn't have anything. I felt empathy and warmth because I shared my food. I am such a good person.

~~~~~~~~~FLASH FORWARD TO MONDAY~~~~~~~

I am eating a SMALL bag of the best, most-delicious chips EVER (TGIF Potato Skins), when in walks my new friend from the library. (Please note: before this date she sat comfortably on the other side of the room.)

HER: hey! (Locks eye contact with my chips, gives an 'ooh, what're we havin' today' look, and then helps herself! Again! But this time, WITHOUT ASKING!! Did you hear me? SHE DIDN'T EVEN ASK!)

Let's get something straight, right now! I was eating a SMMAAALL bag. THe kind with 8 chips. A snack for one! Only to be shared with a best friend, significant other, or small starving child! What is up with you!

It was after she ate my chip that she decided to move her PERMENANT seat in the room to right next to me.

Great. :)

~~~FLASH FORWARD TO TODAY~~~~~~~~

Class has started and we are getting a lecture. I eat my sandwich quietly and then switch to my almonds.

HER: Oooh...whatcha' eatin? (Now, she mumbles this as she's avoiding eye contact and darting her eyes straight for my backpack which holds the goods.)

ME: What??? ( What do you want?? Did you say something??)

HER: (bashful and did she hear me? Then she says) You're funny..hehe.

WTH!??? Like you didn't just ask me for food? Well it ain't gonna happen, babe!!! Don't even think of it! I'm not your personal soup kitchen!!!

So this I say to you my stalker!!!!

In the nicest way possible. TRULY THE NICEST WAY.



STOP EATING MY FOOD!!!

20 comments:

Dave said...

Buy a bag of dill pickle chips...you know..the ones that taste like butt? Throw away the taste crime inside and wash the bag out...then use it to mask your favorite study snack of choice. At least that improves your odds that she won't want to mess with your snack...this is of course unless she likes dill pickle chips...then you are back to square one.

Billy said...

Your like her dream come true. Everytime she sees you, you are snacking.

Tell her about Jesus. It will either get rid of her so she wonn't eat your vitals or make her your sisterso you do not mind so much anymore.

jamie said...

hehe, tell her about Jesus...that's a good idea. I also like the dill pickle chip idea. I'm sorry this girl keep trying to take your food. But I hope she never sees your blog because I'd feel sad for her, lol.

TheMartins said...

I am with Billy... and with desguising your snacks. I However I don't think you should have but with the seriousness of this new situation it might have to be the measures taken. Good luck and I will try to find some camo for your goodies. ;o)

P.S.~ Love how she doesn't notice you took the pic! :o) Did she ask you about it? Way to go girl!

GOOD LUCK!!!

MarylandMommy said...

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

sommer said...

LOL you seem to encounter a rare and unique breed of people in your life. first, the poop cloth, now this! gaaah!

Princess Ruby said...

LOL That is pretty funny. Pretty gutsy of somebody to just take your food. I wouldn't even, even if you asked me to! Well, lets hope you don't share a class with her next time!

Patsy said...

You should live in Minnesota - you could be the poster child for "Minnesota Nice."

Linguist-in-Waiting said...

Hehe. I wonder how you could deal with those types of people...

Keep hanging on there.

LIW

Bek said...

i agree with billy - or just bring two bags and give her one - they're like 35 cents.

midwest_hick said...

Sadly....I'm pretty hungry as I post this comment...lol....you're just too nice!

Jaime said...

Oh yikes! I am SO GLAD the only "beggar" I have to deal with has 4 legs and is adorable. I can't believe she just helped herself to your snack sized bag of chips - eeek, so rude! Good luck on that one!

PS... Read your next post first and was SOOOOO confused! ;)

Sheri said...

You know...I bet if you started carrying a poop cloth in your backpack she'd leave you alone!

WendyWings said...

Cruised here through another blog, this girl obviously thinks food - friendship. Her Mom probably only packed her pb and j her whole school life so she had to borrow other peoples lunches. LOL good luck with getting her to stop.

ben.run said...

Possible solutions I can see:

1) Buy more chips/snacks than you need.
2) Disguise chips in a bag of something nasty (as suggested)
3) Put something nasty in the chips so she goes off the idea.
4) Move country

I hope one of these works out for you :-)

Ben.

Kari said...

hahaha

Angela said...

Yep, Billy's got a good point=) You should try it!!! Sooo funny!!!

jennyonthespot said...

I love that you posted a picture! You know how to satisfy your public :o)

BayouMaMa2 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
netmaiden said...

You could always cough right on them as she walks up! If that doesn't gross her out she will probably eat anything and you're in trouble.

OR

you could make a "special" batch of cookies or something - make them so horrible that maybe she won't ask again.