February 06, 2009

Hey, wedding planning.... BITE ME!!!!

A hundred phone calls and e-mails and hours later.... and there are NO churches near my venue for under $2000. I SAID TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS AND THAT WAS THE CHEAP, NOT AS BEAUTIFUL ONE. Screw you and the stained glass windows you rode in on, pretty churches with convenient locations for my guests! With big, oak (is here any other wood?) doors with the rot iron handles that look like castles. There is NO way on God's blessed earth I am spending $2000 to spend 20 minutes in your building. That's $100/min...$1.50/second, you suck! The one I dream of is $4500, may God strike me if I'm lying.

I hate plans. I'm not a list person-- wait-- I'm a list person that doesn't complete tasks in order and loses the list before the day is through. My classroom lesson plans are main ideas with some strategies and a whole lot of flying around the room by the seat of my pants. There's just no time for silly lists!! I'm too busy doing stuff I was supposed to do two weeks ago, dummy! Ya know what I think it is? I hate waiting. Whenever I REALLY plan something out, I end up getting there way early and I have to sit in the waiting room... or sit in my car... or twiddle my thumbs. So I put things off until the LAST minute. I work better under pressure.

Ok, so the wedding is almost exactly 6 months away and I have booked the venue and......and nothing. Nothing else is done. Tomorrow are the engagement pics.

In closing I would like to say; Wedding planning...

I hope you stub your toe on the way to the bathroom at 2am and it hurts so much it wakes you up and then you can't got back to sleep until 30 minutes before your alarm. I hope your neighbors have a huge deciduous tree that loses it's leaves in your yard every year. I hope you get your Sunday paper stolen just often enough to be annoying. I hope you ALWAYS get the wobbly wheeled cart with string in the wheel at the grocery store. I hope you spill coffee on your khaki pants before an interview. I hope you get the gas pump that's out on a cold day and have to move your car. I hope you pick the slow lane at the bank....

I hope you get pink eye.


Anonymous said...

You crack me up! You have such an incredible way with words. I remember you posting something a long time ago and called it. "here's you're dahn post"!

You should be a writer.

Burfica said...

I feel for you yet I am laughing too.

When we did my wedding, it was pretty nice, not as formal as some, and I think I spent 1200 to 1500 including dresses and food.

I planned my sisters and she had to rent a couple more places than me, but we did her whole wedding for about 4000.

I hope yours goes good, and doesn't break the bank.