October 18, 2007
October 16, 2007
I SO spoke too soon!!!!!!!!!
I got me some employment up in her'!!!!!! At a high payin' establishment!!! The highest payin' school district in TAY-Haas to be exact!! YEEE HAW!
Seriously, don't ask me how:
Seriously, don't ask me how:
THE INTERVIEW
(THURSDAY)
(THURSDAY)
3:20PM- Left my subbing job early to get to the interview on time at 4:30PM.
3:21PM- Raced down stairs to get the hell out of dodge and "stumbled" into this equation...
WIDE LEG PANTS + HEELS - TIME / STAIRS= Inadvertently whaling water bottle into wall to save tail from possible -plegia.
In other words, I almost got crippled but bashed the water bottled to save my life!
(**Remember this.)
3:40PM- I am driving. All is good.
3:41PM- I am not moving. All is not good.
3:50PM- I am not freaking moving.
4:13PM- I have moved enough to see the wreck! The dumb, avoidable wreck! The wreck that involved people who are out to destroy me! Am forced to make a call to interviewees informing of my official lateness!? I am going to be LATE! Late to an interview. LATE I TELL YOU! STOP looking at me!!! Yes I'm yelling at nobody, but you're the one in the wreck!! YOU WRECKER!!!!
4:15PM- Am breathless. Have regained composure to call the people who will never hire me because I am late. Look down to grab phone and notice that my water bottle has suffered some damage from "The Crash of 3:21" , or so it will forever be known.
Aww...poor water bottle. Poor, defenseless, broken, w---hat the hell!!!?!?!?!
MY RESUME!!!? My SOAKED, RUINED, RESUME!!?!?!? I HATE YOU WATER BOTTLE!
4:40PM- I am late. My voice is quaking. Feel frazzled and unprepared. Have no resume because no resume is better then soaked resume. DOOM.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got the job!
3:21PM- Raced down stairs to get the hell out of dodge and "stumbled" into this equation...
WIDE LEG PANTS + HEELS - TIME / STAIRS= Inadvertently whaling water bottle into wall to save tail from possible -plegia.
In other words, I almost got crippled but bashed the water bottled to save my life!
(**Remember this.)
3:40PM- I am driving. All is good.
3:41PM- I am not moving. All is not good.
3:50PM- I am not freaking moving.
4:13PM- I have moved enough to see the wreck! The dumb, avoidable wreck! The wreck that involved people who are out to destroy me! Am forced to make a call to interviewees informing of my official lateness!? I am going to be LATE! Late to an interview. LATE I TELL YOU! STOP looking at me!!! Yes I'm yelling at nobody, but you're the one in the wreck!! YOU WRECKER!!!!
4:15PM- Am breathless. Have regained composure to call the people who will never hire me because I am late. Look down to grab phone and notice that my water bottle has suffered some damage from "The Crash of 3:21" , or so it will forever be known.
Aww...poor water bottle. Poor, defenseless, broken, w---hat the hell!!!?!?!?!
MY RESUME!!!? My SOAKED, RUINED, RESUME!!?!?!? I HATE YOU WATER BOTTLE!
4:40PM- I am late. My voice is quaking. Feel frazzled and unprepared. Have no resume because no resume is better then soaked resume. DOOM.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got the job!
September 24, 2007
No job. No job. No job.
Ok, so I have a job, but not the one I want.
It's not that i don't LOVE serving ungrateful people food...it's just that, well, I don't love serving ungrateful people food. And there are some choice folks whom I don't especially enjoy working with at the moment.
I want a full time teaching job!?!? Is that too much to ask for?? I'm all kinds of graduated and certified and what-not and I'm pretty certain I should be turning down jobs at this point. Where's the justice?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a funner note (i know funner is not a word leave me alone) I LOVE me some Rock of Love!!!!
Brett Michaels, from Poison, searched for love in 25 singles on Vh1 and they showed the "what you didn't see" a few weeks ago. He went on a group date with 3 girls and they were in the studio making a song. He wanted to play "butt bongos" on the single because he wanted a sound that no one could recreate. Here is an actual quote from Brett Michaels:
You are lovely, Brett Michaels.
It's not that i don't LOVE serving ungrateful people food...it's just that, well, I don't love serving ungrateful people food. And there are some choice folks whom I don't especially enjoy working with at the moment.
I want a full time teaching job!?!? Is that too much to ask for?? I'm all kinds of graduated and certified and what-not and I'm pretty certain I should be turning down jobs at this point. Where's the justice?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a funner note (i know funner is not a word leave me alone) I LOVE me some Rock of Love!!!!
Brett Michaels, from Poison, searched for love in 25 singles on Vh1 and they showed the "what you didn't see" a few weeks ago. He went on a group date with 3 girls and they were in the studio making a song. He wanted to play "butt bongos" on the single because he wanted a sound that no one could recreate. Here is an actual quote from Brett Michaels:
"Yes, I was looking for something organTic, something original. And just like snowflakes, no two smacks on the @$$ ever sound the same."
You are lovely, Brett Michaels.
September 19, 2007
OG don't mean "original gangsta" no mo....
I crap you not, I have just been introduced to the best invention since the pager! The pager!!! And I'm almost positive NO ONE has it! My mom and step-dad errr Some random folks who wish to remain nameless, stumbled upon this gold mine at the grand opening of a kitchen gadget store in Spokompton and shared it with me.
Here's the story:
Random lady went to the gadget store and won a door prize. Random Lady had no idea that what she won would change her life for EVER!!
Are you ready for what she won??????
((Drum roll and trumpets))
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...
May ALL the trials and tribulations of onion cutting fall to the wayside with this small gift from above!! NO MORE TEARS!!! NO MORE... umm, tears! And that's awesome enough that you only need one purpose for these goggles!
Not only are they practical, but they're trendy!
Hey lady, you goin to tha club or chooppin onions!
These glasses really are all you hope they'll be BUT BE WARNED! Utter jubilation over the amazing amazingness of these glasses may cause you to lose site of reality.......
((The following is a reenactment of a true story.))
1. You are finished chopping onions but have the strong desire to continue wearing your goggles. While enjoying dinner, you reach for your jar of lemonade:
2. You raise your glass to sip...
3. You spit out in HORROR!!!
4. You were too taken with your OG's to realize there were TWO jars on the table....
5. PICKLE JUICE!!
What a world.....
But as traumatizing as this experience is, there's still one thing that makes it worth it:
You still have THE ONION GOGGLES.
Here's the story:
Random lady went to the gadget store and won a door prize. Random Lady had no idea that what she won would change her life for EVER!!
Are you ready for what she won??????
((Drum roll and trumpets))
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you...
ONION GOGGLES!!!
(Keep goggles in protective case when not in use...read the box, fool!)
(Keep goggles in protective case when not in use...read the box, fool!)
May ALL the trials and tribulations of onion cutting fall to the wayside with this small gift from above!! NO MORE TEARS!!! NO MORE... umm, tears! And that's awesome enough that you only need one purpose for these goggles!
Not only are they practical, but they're trendy!
Hey lady, you goin to tha club or chooppin onions!
These glasses really are all you hope they'll be BUT BE WARNED! Utter jubilation over the amazing amazingness of these glasses may cause you to lose site of reality.......
((The following is a reenactment of a true story.))
1. You are finished chopping onions but have the strong desire to continue wearing your goggles. While enjoying dinner, you reach for your jar of lemonade:
2. You raise your glass to sip...
3. You spit out in HORROR!!!
4. You were too taken with your OG's to realize there were TWO jars on the table....
5. PICKLE JUICE!!
What a world.....
But as traumatizing as this experience is, there's still one thing that makes it worth it:
You still have THE ONION GOGGLES.
September 18, 2007
iThink iNeed help deciding.....
****** PS Does anyone see that 5 and 6 are jokes?******
I've been searching for a case for my iPhone and am calling in the troops for some iPinions on what iShould get.
Here's what iNeed (fine, I'll stop.):
1. Protection from the phone-eating gremlins who live in my purse and like to scratch pretty, shiny things made by Apple.
2. Protection from what some people call gravity and what I call a conspiracy. Don't you find it odd that something doesn't stay in your lap where you put it!!? Irregardless of whether or not you remain seated!? And haven't you noticed that it ONLY happens when you are getting out of your car onto pavement??
Coincidence? Or CONSPIRACY?
I've never had a phone holder/case before, but I really don't want to ruin my phone. Let me know what you think.
Option 1:
(+): It's discreet, is rubber and absorbs shock, and it has a cool thing on the back where you can wrap your earphones/hands free thingy.
(-): It's kind of bulky when you've got your earphones wrapped up.
OPTION 2:
(+): It's PINK, is rubber and absorbs shock, and is pink.
(-):
OPTION 3:
(+): Again, it's pink, and is a hard protective case.
(-): Kind of not cute pink, and does the hard case work better then the rubber for absorbing shock?
OPTION 4:
(+): This is great! I can still use a rubber protector and use this when it's in my purse to protect the face! AND there's somewhere to put my earphones.
(-): I could make something like this easily with a sewing machine. I could also make it in a cool material.
OPTION 5:
**This is real**
(+): No one will ever steal my case, no one will have the same one, and if I am ever a bridesmaid in 1994, my phone cover will match.
(-): My cellphone and Barbie will get in a knock down drag out fight over who looks better in maroon taffeta, and no one will talk to me if I own this.
OPTION 6:
**This is real, too**
(+): People can hear me walk into a room because the coins jingle, I can put my phone on vibrate and still hear it ring, I can probably find furniture to match, and if I lose my cell phone- chances are she joined a pack of gypsies and I'll find her at a local barter fair.
(-): My phone will probably join a pack of gypsies and I will have to go searching for her at a local barter fair because you just never know what kind of bad things there are at barter fairs.
I've been searching for a case for my iPhone and am calling in the troops for some iPinions on what iShould get.
Here's what iNeed (fine, I'll stop.):
1. Protection from the phone-eating gremlins who live in my purse and like to scratch pretty, shiny things made by Apple.
2. Protection from what some people call gravity and what I call a conspiracy. Don't you find it odd that something doesn't stay in your lap where you put it!!? Irregardless of whether or not you remain seated!? And haven't you noticed that it ONLY happens when you are getting out of your car onto pavement??
Coincidence? Or CONSPIRACY?
I've never had a phone holder/case before, but I really don't want to ruin my phone. Let me know what you think.
Option 1:
(+): It's discreet, is rubber and absorbs shock, and it has a cool thing on the back where you can wrap your earphones/hands free thingy.
(-): It's kind of bulky when you've got your earphones wrapped up.
OPTION 2:
(+): It's PINK, is rubber and absorbs shock, and is pink.
(-):
OPTION 3:
(+): Again, it's pink, and is a hard protective case.
(-): Kind of not cute pink, and does the hard case work better then the rubber for absorbing shock?
OPTION 4:
(+): This is great! I can still use a rubber protector and use this when it's in my purse to protect the face! AND there's somewhere to put my earphones.
(-): I could make something like this easily with a sewing machine. I could also make it in a cool material.
OPTION 5:
**This is real**
(+): No one will ever steal my case, no one will have the same one, and if I am ever a bridesmaid in 1994, my phone cover will match.
(-): My cellphone and Barbie will get in a knock down drag out fight over who looks better in maroon taffeta, and no one will talk to me if I own this.
OPTION 6:
**This is real, too**
(+): People can hear me walk into a room because the coins jingle, I can put my phone on vibrate and still hear it ring, I can probably find furniture to match, and if I lose my cell phone- chances are she joined a pack of gypsies and I'll find her at a local barter fair.
(-): My phone will probably join a pack of gypsies and I will have to go searching for her at a local barter fair because you just never know what kind of bad things there are at barter fairs.
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