BLACK clouds...

This post was supposed to be up yesterday, but there's someone pretty awesome that has been distracting me from posting. ((blush)) Won't go into the details, now!

So here's the creepy storm that I drove into on my way to school yesterday:

THis was at 9am. It felt like 8pm. It was creepy! SEE:

Now take note to the small red mark on my bottom lip. I punched myself in the face with a glass rack because i am smart.

And, no, I'm not wearing make up! VOILA!

PS I've updated my song of the day which will appropriately be changed to song of the week soon. I've played this song before...but what can i say!?

For those of you that think I'm evil.

About my personal food pillager.
I'm not a bad person! I promise! Here's the deal: I bring food from home because I am POOR! When I buy chips that are 75cents a bag (approximately 10cents a chip!), I really wanted to spend my money on it! If she offered me food, I wouldn't mind! But she doesn't! Sigh. Please believe me.

Now, onto my sister who hates me and hates my diet. I came home to find THIS yesterday!.....

It was as moist and delicious as it looks. GRRRRrrrrrr!

OK, i think she thinks I'll feed her.

I was at the library about 2 weeks ago and was approached by a girl from my PoliSci class. Long story short, she talked my ear off!! Well, her real motive for being my friend has just reared it's ugly, starving head and I am not happy about it.

~~LIBRARY NIGHT~~~~~~~~~~~~

HER: Aren't you in my class?

ME: Yeah, hey.

HER: Do you mind if I join you?

ME: Yes I mind because I am sitting here enjoying my Ritz crackers and am working hard on this paper that should be done right now!? Sure.

I offer some crackers to my new friend and she proceeds to HELP HERSELF in every possible sense imaginable. We're talkin' half a sleeve of my Ritz, people.

The truth be told, I felt kind of bad for her. I had all this great study food and she didn't have anything. I felt empathy and warmth because I shared my food. I am such a good person.

~~~~~~~~~FLASH FORWARD TO MONDAY~~~~~~~

I am eating a SMALL bag of the best, most-delicious chips EVER (TGIF Potato Skins), when in walks my new friend from the library. (Please note: before this date she sat comfortably on the other side of the room.)

HER: hey! (Locks eye contact with my chips, gives an 'ooh, what're we havin' today' look, and then helps herself! Again! But this time, WITHOUT ASKING!! Did you hear me? SHE DIDN'T EVEN ASK!)

Let's get something straight, right now! I was eating a SMMAAALL bag. THe kind with 8 chips. A snack for one! Only to be shared with a best friend, significant other, or small starving child! What is up with you!

It was after she ate my chip that she decided to move her PERMENANT seat in the room to right next to me.

Great. :)

~~~FLASH FORWARD TO TODAY~~~~~~~~

Class has started and we are getting a lecture. I eat my sandwich quietly and then switch to my almonds.

HER: Oooh...whatcha' eatin? (Now, she mumbles this as she's avoiding eye contact and darting her eyes straight for my backpack which holds the goods.)

ME: What??? ( What do you want?? Did you say something??)

HER: (bashful and did she hear me? Then she says) You're funny..hehe.

WTH!??? Like you didn't just ask me for food? Well it ain't gonna happen, babe!!! Don't even think of it! I'm not your personal soup kitchen!!!

So this I say to you my stalker!!!!

In the nicest way possible. TRULY THE NICEST WAY.

STOP EATING MY FOOD!!!

THE POOP CLOTH!

I've just boarded my flight home from Tuscon.

I have a People magazine.

I'm in an aisle seat with NO ONE in the middle

........... WHEN HERE HE COMES.

My Plane-date for the next 2-3 hours of my life.

I am a polite woman and ALWAYS give up the aisle seat for a man thrice my size which this guy was. Just to give you all a good look at what I would be spending the next few hours of my life with, please click the following link and adjust the playback speed to it's fastest: My dream plane-date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, welcome back.

I will now tell you the horror.

This man would NOT leave me alone!!

After succumbing to the fact that I was NOT going to be reading any time soon, I began what would go down in history as the WORST conversation of all time!

1) He notices that I am white knuckled on the take off, so suggests that we take my mind off of things and share our worst plane rides ever. Lovely remedy for someone about to have a panic attack.

HIS STORY: Bad turbulence.

MINE: A fat guy getting toilet paper stuck in his pants.

Now, I thought my story was funny. THis really fat guy gets a note from a steward that tells him he has toilet paper stuck in his pants (TRUE STORY).

Gross Plane Guy (aka plane-date) , however, DOES NOT THINK THIS IS FUNNY.

GPG: THAT IS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I cannot believe it!!! He had TOILET PAPER!?! (faces like throwing up in mouth at any moment) Whenever I do PAPERWORK I ALWAYS use a washcloth to wipe!!......

There are 3 major things wrong with this situation...

1) He is talking to me about wiping his BUTT.
2) He calls a #2, "paperwork"
3) I think he shaves his legs.

What GPG does next is unacceptable and I would not be shy to call it the worst thing imaginable.

(GPG reaches down to his fanny pack .........unzips slowly............and shows me a zip lock baggy with a terry cloth wash rag.)

GPG: SEE!

OH.....................MY.....................HOLY....................CRAP.

GPG has just shown me................................

HIS BUTT TOWEL!?!?!

AND it's NOT DISPOSABLE!!!!?

To which two questions arise:

1) Am I on candid camera!?
2) What does GPG do with soiled washcloth?

The rest of the plane ride was filled with lovely little nuggets about GPG.

GPG is a stripper.

GPG Owns an "escort" service that evil Tuscon is forever trying to destroy. "I don't hire prostitutes!" he said, "But, Hey, things happen, you know!?"

Yes, GPG, I do know. Terrible, horrible things happen. The nerve.

I find out GPG can't read too well.

I find out GPG's marriage has had it's ups and downs.

I find out that GPG's step-son watches MTV and farts in front of the television. To WHICH GPG STRONGLY DETESTS. "GO TO THE BATHROOM!?" I don't think it would be a stretch to say that GPG had a bad experience with poop.

I also find out that GPG is not so great at driving in snow and almost killed 6 of his co-chip'n'dalesers.

I was his therapist for the duration of the flight nad I am forever scarred.

MORAL OF THE STORY.

NEVER TRUST A MAN WITH A FANNY PACK! NEVER!

Please Watch Responsibly... :)

If you watch this....please watch with the sound up. lol The sound effects really are what make this priceless.... lol.


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You can find more videos at http://www.screamingpickle.com/members/StarWarsKid/

Enjoy.

RIP Wonderful long post!

I had a beautiful post all ready and awesome and wonderful and witty and great and long! Then PPOOOOOOFF! Gone! Vanished! Into thin blog-air! It had pictures. It was funny! And now I have no idea what I wrote cause it was so aweseome and long.

You will pay for this blogger! You will pay.

SO now I will try to rehash the awesomness that was my previous post. (So not going to happen)

I'm pretty excited that I get to drive 45 minutes to WORK FOR FREE tomorrow. Once again my International Human Rights class gets me to go above and beyond! (PS GOT AN A ON THE TEST! WHAT WHAT!?) 20 hours of community service is what it's all about.

Must sleep. Need to leave my house at the BUTTCRACK to get there on time. Wonderful.

PS I'm still mad about my post! GRR!

Tell me you Love me Andrew!

Tell me.....You love me.

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HG Needs...

Got this game from Ms. Q. You go to Google and enter in "Your name + needs" then you post the top ten listings. Here is what I came up with lol.

HG needs.....

...a cold shower. (Very much the opposite.)
...a smack daddy. (Hmm..)
...him (Agreed)
...to do five things. (much more then that.)
...a tutor. (Not this semester)
...space. (Sometimes..)
...to be improving. (always)
...a bumper sticker. (I guess...)
...the earth energy in her life to learn how to ground and be more
practical... (You are now entering a world...doo doo dooh doohhh....)
...heavy visual depiction of her subject in order for it all to work. (This is my secret...if it sounds like I am taking over the earth you may be on to something.....)

One Down...Two to Go

Ok, one test is out of the way and I have anohter one in about 45 minutes. Then another one after that. Then a human rights class that I have NOT done the reading for and then I get to work... BLACGH......

:) All smiles from this end of the blogosphere. Let you know how things pan out.

Procrastinating...BAD.

Midterms are here and I am PROCRASTINATING. For some reason, I have no sense of urgency to get anything done. I had a test today and i have 3 tomorrow.

Wish ME luck. @_@

Does that look like a zombie-eyed person? lol...ok, that's what it's supposed to be.

Thank you, again, WB.

Well, just another reason to thank the WB. They have provided me with an awesome song. (I know, I know...but I don't listen to the radio. I'm sure it's been out for months or something crazy like that.)

If I had a boyfriend. This would be our song. If I had a husband, a date, a guy friend that--...ANYTHING!? hehe This would definitely be his song dedicated to me.

Enjoy.....any takers?



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Welcome home.

This guy scared the heck out of me when i got home tonight. Isn't he so cute! :)

My Car Smells Like Ribeye.

I couldn't figure out why my car stunk so bad. I didn't leave food in there. I didn't eat in there. But it stunk like my work!? This morning I found a black towl that we use to wipe our hands off at work....UNDER MY SEAT. Delicious! Tartar sauce...bearnaise.....drawn butter.... YUM!

Why can't I wake up early?

I wish I was a morning person! When I get up, I love it. But that just so happens to not ever, rarly ever be the case! No earlier then 1030...

FINISHED!!! **GASP**

Ok, this stupid paper is FINALLY finished. Here's a recap starting at about 33o this morning.

330am: FINISHED PAPER! Angels singing.

332am: That's funny, it won't save.

333am: That's less funny, NOTHING will open.

334am: Awesome let me try to save it to my USB Stick.

335am: EVERYTHING WIPED OFF OF USB STICK. Including old version of paper. Could be royally whipped!

336am: Reboot Computer. NOTHING.

337am: am royally whipped.

9:30am: Freaking out to teacher. She appears to understand, but I feel like she thinks I'm lying!!? Like those times when you forget your ID and the JERK lady at the fair looks at you like you're some PUNK kid trying to scam and buy beer! Cause, hey, this is the fair.

9:34am: Dad saves the day! ALL IS GREAT

300pm: Get home from school and only half my paper saved.

4:20pm: DONE DONE DONE DONE! IN YOUR FACE!!!

Thanks to Billy, I now give you a more accurate picture of what I looked like last night. :) Thank you!

Sac & Save...More Like Sac & Suck!!**UPDATE**

I just bought a package of cookies for my "all nighter" at the library. I get to the library...open them up...and guess what I find. EVERY COOKIE IS BROKEN!! I WISH I had my camera hookup right now because this is ghetto. Most of the cookies are in about 10 pieces. There are 2 trays of crumbleness with not a single distinguishable cookie. THen there are two trays of crumbleness with maybe one or two masses that were once cookies.

Oh the pain. I regret to say that I am enjoying this system, but I have put away 3 1/2 cookies without knowing it. Throwing it back like popcorn. LET ME TELL YOU THIS SACK AND SAVE! When morning comes and this package is gone...I will be the first to spread the word of your slapdash shipping and helter-skelter stocking!

Other then that I'm about the same on progress with my paper. A little more research done.

Oh yeah. and there's this girl in my class that found me at the library and won't stop talking to me. Lovely.

**UPDATE**

SHE IS STILL TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!

**UPDATED AGAIN**

Honestly, could this be the product of anything other then a disgruntled Sac employee?

PS! Thanks a lot for the crumbs on my comfortor! (THat's me, right now....at 3am...PAPER STILL NOT DONE)

Paper Update Numero Uno

Ok, some more research. Some copy and paste. A huge headache. I, so far, have a vague idea of what my paper is going to be. I had a dream last night, LITERALLY, that I was writing my paper. I was editing and cutting and rewriting. I promise.

If anyone needs to find me.....I will be in the pits of paper purgatory.

Dun, dun, Duhhnnnnnn.

To all my friends.

KV just asked me if my blog is turning into a celebrity gossip column. The answer is no, but if I blogged about what was going on in my life right now, it would look a little something like this:

I skipped Music Class today so I could study for my Int. Human Rights test. I think I did good, but you know how that goes. It was essay.

Also, I have to start my Education paper because it's due on Wednesday! Yeah, that's right, I said START my paper that's due in 36 hours! Here's what I've accomplished so far!:

I see it like this. Time spent at the library, is time spent on my paper.

Now, I would like you all to meet my new boyfriend. Super cute!

PS That dust ruffle is from 1988.

Here's what I look like right now:

Like I'd show you the HORRIBLE picture I just took of myself! Trust me....it was bad. That's the guy I will be cursing tomorrow at 3:30 in the morning when i'm still not done with my paper.

Redemption for Ash?

Well...here it is, and you be the judge. This is Ashlee on SNL yesterday singing "Catch Me When I Fall"


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Sigh...Bush.

This clip never gets old to me! lol

Love, Love the WB!

Ok, for those of you that don't watch the WB, you are missing out!! :) Other then Grey's Anatomy, all of my Fall shows are on WB.

1. Everwood: Bright and Hannah are FINALLY together!! Will Bright change his flighty ways with women for his new found love for hannah? Ephram is home from Europe and Amy is finally over him. Ephram can't understand why she doesn't want to be friends again, but Amy reminds him that "They were never friends. There was always something he wanted to say but couldn't, or she wanted to say but couldn't." Sigh...So profound! Will Dr. Brown and Nina finally get together? Or will Nina stay with her young boy-toy Dr. (Scott Wolf)? Will Amy's mom win her battle with cancer? STAY TUNED!

2. One Tree Hill: Ok, with the recent, real-life divorce of Chad Michael Murray (who plays Lucas) and Sophia Bush (who plays Brooke Davis) the mood on the set of One Tree may be getting a little tense...!? We left off last season with Lucas confessing his love for Sophia and her being completely shocked by it and leaving for the summer. Now she's back in Tree HIll and wants friends with benefits. Lucas' mom still hasn't heard from her man in New Zealand and Deb is FINALLY asking for a divorce from Dan. Peyton just discovered that her dead mother isn't, in fact, her biological mother. And the crazy woman that's been following her around??...yeah, that's her real mom! Nathan and Haley haven't anulled their marriage yet, but are they going to work it out? After she left Nathan for her music career last season, Nathan finally got over her. Now she's back and wants him back, but he's not going to give in that easily. The good news, their both sporting their wedding rings! There's hope.

3. Gilmore Girls: Lorelai and Rory are still fighting and Lorelai won't set a date for the wedding until they make up. Luke and Lorelai are remodeling the house and Rory is living the high life with Grandma. Will Rory go back to Princeton? Will Rory and Logan's love last? Will Sookie's in-Laws drive her insane? STay tuned!

SO BEAUTIFUL!

It's in the 60's and all of our windows and doors are open!! YAY!

And I will be inside doiong homework.

Thanks to Oprah...

Lori McKenna, the writer of Faith Hills "Fireflies", was on Oprah Monday along with Faith Hill. Lori sang Ruby's Shoes, a song that was inspired by Oprah's show with Ruby Bridges and a book about Ruby called The Story of Ruby Bridges. The song was so beautiful that i had to check her out. I stumbled onto a gold mine. This song, called "Unfinished" is an unfinished song from her album called The Kitchen Tapes. Every song on this C.D. was recorded from her kitchen with a little recorder and are completely un-edited. Enjoy. :)



Unfinished.m3u
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Hooah! The fair rules!!

What would the fair be without wanting to hurl upon departure? :) I will now give you a sequential list of what I ingested at the fair:

Chili (From the cook off! YEE HAW)
Ribs (also from the cook off...my friend got 10th place!!)
peanutbutter, jelly, and banana sandwich...DEEP FRIED! (*tears of joy*)
Frito Pie
sausage on a stick
banana's foster (or whatever you say)
french fries
a Corny Dog (which, (am I wrong?), should be called a Carny Dog.)
Cheesecake...DEEP FRIED!

and just when we thought we couldn't eat another bite!....

Nachos (a la jalapeno & chili)
&...my personal favorite!!!
FUNNEL CAKE! (with strawberries)

I feel like a total cow.... BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT!

Now, pictures. :)

These guys were my dates to the fair. From left to right:

Blew too drunk to test drive a Chevy at 10:30am and then twisted his ankle the first football play of the day! (WE LOVE YOU!), the only cool person that wanted to ride rides with me but then I lamed out b/c I felt like puking, 10th place WINNER for the RIB CONTEST!!, and friends with everyone with free food and drink. :) VERY WONDERFUL TIME!

Here's some proof, the 10th place ribbon:

And this is proof that I was at the Chili cookoff:

What you can't see are his CUTOFF JEAN SHORTS! What you can see is my AWESOME FREE VISOR from the CHEVY stand!

And tell me what the fair would be without butter-elvis?:

no, seriously?

And a crazy fun-house mirror!?

Or going on rides that are a rip-off?

BTW! Don't stop at the first Crazy-Fun-HOuse at the fair for 8 TICKETS! Because a half an hour later you will see another one with more bells and whistles then you can imagine and it will be just as many tickets and twice as long!? DARN CARNIES!!!!

The State Fair

I'm going to the state fair tomorrow, so I'll be sure to get some pictures! :) Lots and lots of fun. Better go to sleep before it's too late...