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June 20, 2005

WARNING- PERSONS IN THE TANNING SALON MAY APPEAR WEALTHIER THEN THEY ARE

I hit the tanning salon today and ended up waiting about 5 minutes for a bed. How it is even possible to wait when there are 900 beds is beyond my comprehension, but whatever. I took a seat on their cushioned waiting bench and noticed a "GQ model" leaning forward on the counter, talking sweet to the sun-scourched babe behind it. (Truly, SCOURCHED) I say GQ model because he was so 'put together' that he should have been on GQ magazine. I also say GQ model, because 9 out of 10 times the men are so pretty that there is absolutely no sex appeal to me.

He owned the room. Let me tell you. He was talking to her like she was the only woman on earth, but leaning on the counter like he was desperate for ALL women to look his way. BLAH.

"Baby, you are looking so good....what's that, baby?... " Literally. He then gave her the same bedroom eyes he gives to the mirror every morning and turned to find his throne next to where I was sitting. "Another grape??? You're highness??"**vomit**

Now, I would tell you if I thought he was good looking but, the fact is, he was so mediocre that it hurt me to watch. Perky-Tan-Salon-Girl ate up his image! He sat down slowly, crossed his right foot over his left knee, and firmly grabbed his right ankle with is left hand. There, uncofortably laid back. I watched Tan Girl and couldn't believe my eyes. She proceded to prance around the salon.....are you ready for this....freaking barefoot!? ISn't that against some regulation? She was walking with purpose, and took a model stance every time she stopped. IT was the most hysterical thing i've ever seen. Two descent people believing they were Paris and Paris haha. She even lowered her pants to the point of indescent exposure. How cute!

His hair was perfectly cut. His highlights were perfect. His clothes were expensive (or..he was trying to make them look like they were.) He was on top of his world. I chuckled.

My car was facing the doors of the salon so I got a good look as he was leaving. He was now sporting an "under-T" and had his orignal button up hanging off his finger over one shoulder. His "boss-man-sunglasses" were gold and, I kid you not, looked cheaper then anything i've ever seen before. They were crooked and flimsy and were making his "bronzed" face look even more...um...bronze? He looked like he was made of rubber. lol.

I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. I then felt bad and wondered what kind of person he really was. What kind of job he really had. He probably works at the bank..lol. He clearly wanted to look more wealthy then he was....but who am i to judge. He's probably a really great person that used to have bad acne.

Just wanted to share the laugh I had.

2 comments:

Jenn said...

That's a great blog. It really made me laugh.

That guy, man that's hilarious. I know a guy who really think's he's something. He goes for the manicures, always has a ton of gel in his hair, nice clothes and the like. You know why....cause he used to be fat and have bad acne. I could almost tell he had been unattractive at one point as soon as I met him.

Thanks for stopping by my space. I will definately check out that Drama Queen book next trip to the library.

~*~jenn*~*

Monica said...

I love how you described that. Your sense of humor shows through your writing. Your descriptions have me there watching the Paris and Paris haha thing as well. LOL. Great writing.